The Valentine’s Day Spectacle
February 14th is around the corner once more and romance will make a grand showing. Stores will be decorated in the colours of love, commonly white and red. Chocolates and teddy bears will take centre stage. And as usual restaurants will up their prices to meet the occasion. Prepare for your social media feed to become a parade of roses. For all things to be heart-shaped, and couples to attend, showing off their love in high definition.
Then It All Disappears
Then, February 15th rolls around, and everything just fades away into the deep crevice of forgotten intentions, wilted petals, unread messages, and promises that were never meant to stick. A week later, break-ups are in progress and divorces are being filed. Which makes you wonder if romance is really supposed to be an annual event? Somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that love needs one big show in February, and that’s enough. That if you bring home chocolates and score a dinner reservation on the 14th, you’ve done your duty. Never mind the other 364 days. Is this what we call love now? I accept that saying so might earn me the label of killjoy—and that’s alright. I get that people want to feel special on Valentine’s Day. But shouldn’t we make the act of celebrating love an everyday thing, rather than a once in a year thing? At this point, Valentine’s Day feels less like a celebration of love and more like feeding the commercial appetite of anyone who figured out how to monetise feelings.
Real Romance Lives in the Small Stuff
Real romance happens in the moments, where you remember how your partner likes their coffee, or dancing together in the kitchen. It’s in the chatter , where you actually take the time to listen and understand each other. You find real love in the small, everyday moments that don’t make good Instagram content. It’s in that kiss on the forehead that say’s, I see you and appreciate you. Real romance happens behind closed doors. When there’s nothing to prove. Valentine’s Day romance is nothing more than a staged play. When it becomes more about the audience than the person you’re with.
Showing Up Matters More Than the Date
It is interesting that some people don’t actually want romance. They want the look of romance. The Facebook and instagram posts, that look perfect but are far from in reality. The social praise that comes from appearing loved, without putting in the daily work of loving someone for who they are, not who you want to mould them into. Romance isn’t rose petals on a bed if you don’t know what keeps your partner up at night. It is not an expensive gift if you ignore how they feel for the rest of the year. And it definitely isn’t using one day of effort covering for a whole year of barely showing up. If romance only shows up on Valentine’s Day, it’s not romance, plain and simple.
Big Gestures Don’t Build Relationships
People don’t build strong relationships with one big gesture each February. They build them by showing up consistently.. On choosing each other on the hard days, the boring days, and the days when nothing feels special at all. Romance is showing patience, kindness and understanding. This also comes with a fair amount of compromise. It’s being there when it would be easier to check out. But most of all, it’s making room for someone’s worst days, not just celebrating their best ones.
Everyday Moments Are Where Love Lives
I am a firm believer that romance shouldn’t be limited to Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is mostly a marketing campaign with better PR than it deserves. Real romance doesn’t need anything specific,……it just happens in everyday moments. Quietly proving that love isn’t about timing. It’s about showing up. And that shouldn’t be limited to once a year.
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